Daily Prompt. Having Hope

The daily post presently has a challenge titled Unleash your inner dickinson. I usually don’t do poems but this is an issue close to my heart and a lot of women out there . So here it goes

Only one line appears on the stick
Her heart sinks but she has hope
The red-letter days has failed to appear
So it must be a false negative
She has hope

The red letter days have come and gone
Her heart sinks further but she has hope
It has only been five years
Feels like ten
But God’s time must be the best
She has hope

She sits alone in the corner of the room at the party
All the women straddling their babies and mingling
She feels all eyes on her
She is after all an African woman
But she doesn’t lose hope

She takes a lot of drugs
She googles new ideas everyday
She is registered to 100 sites
She is always looking for the next miracle solution
She still has hope

They are fighting again
She accuses him of cheating
He says she has grown obsessed.
It is a long cold night
She has almost lost all hope

She is late again
This time, she spots a faint line on the stick
She is afraid to hope
Could it be?
The doctor confirms it.

It has been a very rough nine months
A very difficult pregnancy it had been
There is a breach, A cesarean is needed
But at the end of the day, she cradles her baby girl
Little Miss Hope Adebayo lets out her first cry

African American mother and newborn baby

Atilla The Hun didn’t watch Movies…………

Attila the Hun

I recently joined the The daily post a unique wordpress initiative that gives bloggers daily writing challenges and is really an awesome source of inspiration.

This Weekly Writing Challenge is

Does watching violent movies inspire violence in the real world?

I voted an emphatic NO!!!


Humans are the most violent creatures in the world and we have never needed TV to inspire us to kill ourselves and others. It is something that comes naturally to us. Think about it.

Continue reading

Sarcastic one liners at its finest………..According to Me!

So I have been told that my updates are too long. I am sorry(…No, I am not). I can’t help it(….Yes I can). When I go to the bookstore to buy a novel, I go for the heaviest one because it would take a longer time to read. So I like things Long………….but I will “try” to keep this short.

So I have been watching a lot of Judge Judy of late. (I was a Judge Milian groupie because I thought Judge Judy was too mean), But she has won me over. I think both women are witty and sarcastic geniuses.

judge judyjudge milian

Now inspired by them and the queen of sarcasm Ardenrr, I put together a short list of one liners that I believe are some of the most subtle yet potent insults ever.

Unfortunately, I haven’t really gotten to use them for two reasons

1. I am a nice girl (…..cough) and I think the recipient may be offended (but I still find them hilarious)

2. Or even worse, the recipient may not get it and won’t be offended. There is nothing I hate more (as I had stated here) than when people don’t get sarcasm.

sarcasm smiley

So Here goes………….

I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

Do you get laughed at a lot and never know why?

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

I like you. Everyone says I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad reality is that you wouldn’t understand me.

People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

I used to be pro-life until I met you.

you grow on people, but so does cancer.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice.

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Comment below and share your favourite one liner

Behind every playa lies a broken heart. Truth or Wash?

Yesterday I came across this video on YouTube and It made me profoundly angry, sad and disturbed.

For Those of you who cannot watch the video, It is Divorce Court. A woman left her husband with whom she had never had a problem, because he was being “Too nice”. That when he says “I love you” she is always waiting for him to hit her or something. That he says I love you too much. When the Judge said How much? She said twice a week……..

sarcasm smiley

The Judge kept pushing her to find out why on earth she was leaving him and She came up with “He made her gain weight.” That he was such a good cook and was always cooking for her anytime she asked. He didn’t just make a sandwich. He always went all out to cook for her and hence he is the reason why she is fat. Did I mention that she had three kids for other men before she married him and he was raising them financially. I guessed the saddest part is that despite all this, he said at the end. “I wish the Judge had sentenced you to life with me’………….sob…………(the sob is me, not the husband. Grown ass men don’t sob. Something only gets into their eyes)

First of all, I have to mention that this ‘woman’ is not a representation of women folk, though I have to admit that we are the most confused specie in knowing what we want (Strong but Sensitive, Tough but sweet and all the other BS that romance novels have deceived us with). This lady was clearly used to being in abusive relationships and couldn’t handle it when a truly decent guy wants to be with her. It is saddening because millions of women are looking for this kind of guy.(My husband cannot find anything in the Kitchen even when he decides to cook which has been…….twice in the last year…………so I end up hovering around him while he cooks)

Despite how digusted I am by this lady, a comment on this video is the crux of today’s article. The commenter said that and I quote “this is how ‘playas’ are born.That no guy ever becomes one (a playa) without being disappointed by a woman” Realllllyyyy???. Let’s analyse? Shall we?

So who is a playa? I googled Urban Dictionary to find out its definition of a playa. (Visit Urban dictionary for some amazing humorous definitions of Black Americans’ slangs)

known love offender, known also as a notorious heart breaker, one who engages in flirtatious, seductive and/or scandalous liaisons of little to no meaning and/or feeling, with the opposite sex.

Sounds like an absolutely horrid person right? So I wondered If truly one(or two or a thousand) heart breaks could turn an absolutely nice guy into this. Is it true in any or all circumstances? Even in some stupid Love movies, the Romeo always starts off as a womanizing jerk and later we find out that the reason for that is because of some heartbreak he suffered earlier. As I always do, I conducted a survey with over 25 male friends (some single, some married) to find out their opinions whether the assertion that ‘Behind every playa lies a broken heart was true or was a Wash’ ( A wash is a slang meaning A Line to deceive). The overwhelming consensus (aside a few dissenters here and there) was


You have got to love guys. They are brutally honest even about themselves
Now I cannot list all the views, but I am going to just put three that I believe were the most poignant

OmoOba Yusuf- A playa is a playa by choice. Heart break doesn’t produce playas. A lot of guys have been heartbroken but still respect women and are committed to their new relationship. Girls suffer more heart break than boys. Are they now “playa-resses”

Okechukwu – No such thing. It is such a title given to a guy that preys on weak girls. Because No one can successfully be a “playa’ without making mistakes. So simply the woman chooses to ignore them. If a woman were to dump a guy’s ass when she knows he is cheating, there would be no such thing as playas. No guy is that smooth. The girls just ignore the signs.

Henry- Wash! Every guy has a natural proclivity to bed several women, it just takes a combination of discipline(rooted in moral or religious consideration), financial wherewithal, fear of STDs to curb such natural inclination. (Way too many Big words Henry(We lawyers like to overcomplicate issues with big words). In Translation, Everyone can be a “playa’, But they CHOOSE not to. (See how much easier it sounds when I say it. Ha Ha)

So by now you have probably figured out whose side I am on. I personally believe it is a BLOODY WASH. Let’s face it. Over 90 percent of people have had their heart-broken by one person or the other. If the entire 90 percent decide to become “playas’, who is left to be played? I have always been a staunch believer of “He slaps you, Slap him back’ not “He slaps you, you go to his house, slap his mother, father and nephew and on your way out, slap the neighbour and the old lady walking by as well” That is exactly what guys who give the excuse of previous heartbreaks as a reason for becoming playas, do. They hurt people who are not responsible for their hurt. It’s like an Aids carrier who decided to sleep around with the intention of infecting others. It is wrong. It is sick. Being a playa is nothing to be proud of.

That being said, ladies also have a hand in this. Ladies seem to have an attraction for bad boys….rebels. It’s sad that some perfectly nice guys believe that they have to fit the bad boy image to get the girls that they like. You see girls crying over guys who constantly cheat on them and yet put guys who would treat them like a queen in the friend zone. Do we have a problem? Definitely….. It applies to both sexes, though mostly to women. Treat people right. It’s not that hard. You CANNOT change people. People choose to change themselves. Playas choose to be Playas. Nobody made that change for them. That is it. It is not complicated.

P.S If your heart were to truly break, You would be dead. Who invented the word anyway?

My dear readers alike, male and female, take the poll and let me have your views. Am I being too judgemental and only seeing the glass half full?
Drop a line, let’s converse.

The Liebster Awards, I will start by thanking my Mo….Wait!!!! Where is my Trophy?

So I was nominated for the Liebster Award by Ardenrr. Now I have no idea what that means, but hey it is an award, so I was super excited. I mean someone likes me. Someone really likes me. I should have paid more attention to the message sent, but all I could think was “Someone likes me, someone really likes me. Then I read her award speech, and I was like …………..aahhhhhh

In few words, Liebster Award is an award to recognize new bloggers. You are only supposed to nominate blogs with less than 200 followers. The rules of the awards are

•Post the award image on your blog — check!
•List 11 random facts about yourself — 11……..only?

•Answer the 11 questions asked by the person/people who nominated you — I can only imagine the questions from Ardenrr. I am in for it.
•Make up 11 questions for those to be nominated — 11 questions. Chei!!
•Nominate 11 people to receive the award. They should have fewer than 200 followers on their blog — Ha Ha! I can punish 11 other people too. That is if I have that many…..
•If you’re nominated, your name and/or link will appear at the bottom of this post.

So as much I love being nominated, it just seems like a lot of work. Phew. But as a true sports woman, here goes.

11 random things.
1. I really like and hate Toddlers and Tiara
Toddlers-and-tiaras Creepy. And she is Real.
2. I secretly wish I could become a wwe diva
3. I sometimes think I am an Alien who has lost her memory and is waiting for her mothership
4. I believe I am a very good fighter but I have never been involved in one. So I may be wrong(Unlikely)
5. I hate the title “Home maker’. Say it as it is…. ‘House wife’ or House Husband’. Don’t sugarcoat it
6. I always wanted to have a really huge dog that would listen to only me
7. I love love love Hindi movies
8. I have watched so many TV series that I wait a couple of years before starting another one so I have season one and two at my disposal.
9. I really want the super power of being able to eat what i like without gaining weight
10. As much as I enjoy blogging, I am also terrified that people would not be interested in my articles.
11. My mother made me read Law because she said I talked too much. As much as I now love it, My dream profession will always be to become An Indian Heroine (I am Nigerian, but running round mountains and singing appeals to me)

madhuri-dixit-and-sridevi-dance-jhalak-dikhhla-jaa-5-grand-finaleHon My pathetic imitation

Now that wasn’t so hard. Now to answer the questions

•If you could fork-stab one person with no repercussions, would you do it? Who would it be? Just One Person?? Darn it. Definitely. Person. One word. Ebele
•How long have you been blogging? 2 months today yahhhhhhh
•If you could get back one thing you’ve lost, what would it be? My old figure………..at eh…..16
•Do you watch porn? Well, I cannot admit that I don’t hate to not watch because it will be admitting to not watching when I may actually be watching which it may not be
•What is your favorite hobby (besides blogging) Playing games, PC or PS
•Do you have any pets? If so, please post a picture, especially if it’s a sloth. No pets. No sloths. Sorry. A sloth seems like a cool pet though. We have two fish once. Hassan and Hussien. We left them in the car during a Move and the Hot Arab Sun………….sob………….
•Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom? Yep! I Think.
•If you could move anywhere you have already visited, where would that be? Already Visited……..Can’t think of such a place.
•What is your favorite TV show that is currently airing and why should I watch it? Supernatural. Two words. Dean Winchester. Seriously, it is an awesome show….Demons, angels, shapeshifters,witches, wendigoes…..Anyone who loves the supernatural would love….Supernatural
Do you hate your job? If so, what would you rather be doing? No. But see No 11 of my Random things
Are you starting to hate this as much as I am? It is exhausting. I hate you

So these are My Nominees. Now I don’t know If I have up to 11 bloggers that need this because most of the blogs I follow seem well established, but I will give it my best shot.

Sandra _ One of the most gorgeous people I have ever met. She writes on the beauty and maintenance of Natural Hair. She has me considering cutting off my hair, which isn’t long to begin with and starting el naturale(did I spell this right)

Harsh Reality I simply love this blog. The wit. The sarcasm. Timeless

Ilsa Aida – A Plus size Diva. She writes almost as good as me. (I am going to get a tongue lashing for that). But Seriously Things seen through her eyes makes for an awesome read

kemmy Mum to the best behaved Two year old I know. she constantly features my articles on her blog and says that I write like a dream, so she is a plus one in my book.

Frieda I hate her because she has a figure that I could only get with the use of a superpower. A fashionista and a humanitarian, her blog is simply a good read

VisaLusden Simply Because I love any body trying to better themselves

I relateShe introduced me to the world of Blogging. I read her articles everyday.

Event Finesse I like weddings. She does Weddings.

I am sorry. This is the best of I could do………… I am officially exhausted. Oh wait! I am not done. Still have to send 11 questions. Perfect!!!

What is your greatest Phobia?
If you were a super hero, who would you be?
Do you hate to type?
What is your favourite love story?
Zombies or Vampires?
If the world was coming to an end in 10 minutes, what would be your last meal?
Would you kill Hitler if you had the chance to time travel and meet him as a baby?
Do you think people in the world worry too much?
What is your drink of choice?
Do you find the terms of this award exhausting?
Do you like me? Only one answer available here.

So Congrats “winners” . Waiting to see your responses.


Ngozi “You know we Igbo girls we too like money”
Morenike “LOL”

Next day………….
Morenike “You know you Igbo girls una too like money”
Ngozi “Are you mad? How dare you say that about us? You Bigot!!!!
Morenike “eh…eh…Huh????”

Sound familiar? No? How about this then?

Jackie Chan “whaz up nigga”
Black Bartender “What did you just say?”
Jackie Chan (slowly) “Whaz up my nigga”
Bartender grabs Jackie and attempts to strangle him. Other man tries to break his hand and generally the men in the bar try to kick his ass.
See the fight scene

If you are white or any other race that is not black, you know by now that calling a black man a nigga is a big NO NO. In fact even calling your white friend a nigga is a big NO NO.

Yet blacks call themselves Nigga all the time and any white person who says it, is termed a racist. Tupac best defined the distinction between the two.

NIGGER- a black man with a slavery chain around his neck.

NIGGA- a black man with a gold chain on his neck.

Earlier on, I found it extremely hypocritical (I still do in some ways) Like how can you tell if the white guy is saying ‘Nigger’ or Nigga'( I wonder how many people actually know that the word “Negro’ means black in Spanish, Portuguese and Italian.)Don’t they sound the same?

Black guy: Hey cracker.

White guy: You can’t call me cracker, that’s racist. Now if you change 2 letters and call me a cracka, it’s all good.

Black guy: That doesn’t make any sense.

White guy: See how stupid it sounds when you guys do it.

If you believe that the word negro has been tainted by slavery and find it derogatory, do NOT call each other that(it sounds pretty simple but apparently its harder than it seems). Did you know that the term “Black” was deemed offensive before the 1960s, that was why the term Negro came into being? (You can read that up on Negro). As I grew older and reality set in(I do hate reality but I hate growing older even more) I realise a LOT of us are guilty of this in one way or the other. Let’s look at some examples.

1. Girls calling each other bitches but are ready to leave a stiletto on a guy’s head when he calls them that.


2. I have a friend who hails all his friends “Ode (fool), how far?”. However, let a stranger or an acquaintance greet him in the same way and this is usually the reaction.

3. Me personally I hate when people insult my University except you went there yourself. Yeah, I know the school was crap most of the time, but its MY crap and the crap of all the other students that went there, not yours. It ain’t your business. (Strangely, I am not offended when people tag Edo girls as prostitutes, same as some whites don’t care if they are called cracker. If only we could brush all slurs aside)

4. Rodney Dangerfield, Woody Allen and John Steward makes fun of Jewish people all the time. You make fun of them. You are labelled Anti semitic.

5. You calling your brother or cousin a loser but if a third-party were to call them same, you are ready to beat them to death with a toothbrush.

The list is endless. I know it is double standard to think that it is ok for you to say something and not ok for me to do the same, but we all do it. We are Human. One of the beauty of being Human is our irrationality(imagine a world where we all applied common sense (which is strangely not so common) all the time). So I realise it is hypocritical to get so mad at black people doing the same when we all do it in varying degrees. (Not that i don’t mind being hypocritical, but only when money is involved..)

In conclusion, the mindset of many people is simply put -it is ONLY ok when I say it, but when you say it, it’s NOT okay. Simple? Yes. Fair? No. Caring if it is fair? Nope.

So drop your comments. What’s your take at the issue?

How Time flies……….It is a year already………

Can’t believe it has already been a year

And what a year it has been

Quarter of the year was spent thinking of creative ways to kill you

You spent half the year wondering if I was an alien ….(I will never telllll…..)

We have had incredible highs and lows

We are still here……

Learning and Growing everyday

And having fun all the way


Just know that your name is forever tattooed in my heart…………well…..actually on my leg……….it is not exactly your name……………. and not exactly forever because it did wash off 2 days later, but you get the point, right? No? Dammit.


Love you boo. You make me want to be a better woman. You complete me…………….You had me at Hello……………(I am sorry….I can’t type this with a straight face), But I mean every cheesy thing I just wrote………really i do……

Imperfect People seeking Perfection.

Hello Hera,
Thank you for responding to my last mail and addressing my issue. I am quite frustrated with the female species, I must say especially Nigerian women. They expect too much out of us men and then say we are dogs when we can’t deliver. They want the tall, dark and handsome guy with cash; sensitive, funny, nurturing, patient………….. all in one person. How na? When we no be Jesus? It is tough, I swear. Yet you see them going around with their fat bellies and when we say we expect them to look like Heidi Klum, if they want us to be like Jesus, They get offended. I don tire for girls. In fact I wonder if I will ever settle down

Kelvin (Frustrated Naija Guy)                                                        

  Hello again Kelvin.You will settle down. This is quite a weighty issue. The sad truth is that we humans have so entitled and conceited right now that we have set a bar for our fellow humans that can never be attained and it cuts across all borders and not just relationships.
Lets start from our childhood. We expect our parents to be perfect care givers. They are supposed to know what to do and how to meet all of our needs. Failure to parent perfectly makes them failures in our eyes. I recall a young man saying he despised and was ashamed of his mother as a child because she was an illiterate and couldn’t help him with his homework growing up. Yes, She kept him clean and took care of all his other needs and was a good mother but she was not like other moms who did their kids’ homework for them. It was not until he grew up that he began to value her.
Same for your teachers. You expect a level of perfection from them. Afterall they are teachers. I recall back in secondary school, we attended the wedding of our male Economics teacher. His bride was heavily pregnant. I was morally outraged (I was morally outraged by a lot of things back then. Now……mehhhhh…….nothing shocks me anymore………except the idea of granting Boko Haram amnesty. THAT outraged me). How can a teacher, A TEACHER  be having sex before marrying? How dare he then tell us it is wrong? It never did occur to me that he is human and prone to certain “acts” (I refrain from calling it a mistake.)

Fast forward to adulthood, Now it is our turn to have perfection expected from us. From our bosses and in our relationships. Bosses don’t expect you to slack off at work and expect you to put 110 percent. A lot of people hate that. that’s why there is so much grumbling during the week and a lot of TGIF(Thank God Its friday) on people’s social media EVERY friday.( or we are just generally lazy)
fridaysssfriday celebration

Now in relationships, the typical Nigerian man wants a woman who is beautiful and sexy, cooks like a master chef,  cleans like a vacuum, takes care of the household, gives birth to children and still maintains her figure, caters to him at his whim, always make her presentable at all time, baby him, independent, patient, doesn’t nag, allow him freedom, take care of the children’s needs and STILL work a full-time job. Even a Stepford wife cannot be all this.


When questioned, they say “Our mothers did it, all this generation girls sef too dey complain”. NO! Our mother did not (most of them anyways). They were not expected to maintain a sexy figure after 5 kids. They were not expected to have a full-time job while raising the kids.(Many of them had shops where the kids hung out after school, or government jobs that closed early, or were simply house wives) It was not like today where there are a lot of high level career women. Lets not forget, most of our mothers had helpers. A cousin or sister or a relative from either the father or the mother’s side pitched in and when the kids got older, they pitched in. I would love to hear from a reader who believes his mum did all stated above and hasn’t developed a face full of wrinkles before her time.

Women at the other hand expect a man who is tall, dark and handsome, good dresser, have swag, faithful,  funny and charismatic, good car, a good job, nice house, caring, sensitive, listens to them, treats them like a princess, spoil them with nice things,help around the house, cook on occasions, buy things for their family, impresses their friends………… (I really don’t think it is possible to put all what women want in one post). Ladies…..you are NEVER going to find a guy with all these qualities and if you do, trust me. He is an alien.


Now I am not saying that you shouldn’t have a standard. Absolutely, you should, but be reasonable in what you expect from people. We are ALL imperfect people. We have our flaws. What we should seek are people with like minds who complement our flaws. I believe it’s a case of too many options. If na only one guy or one babe look your side, you go maintain na. A lot of people dating someone always assume that there has to be someone better out there for them. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn’t. In movies, you often see a boy and girl who are polar opposites but stranded on an island, falling in love with each other. It’s a clear case of availability and desirability and removal  of all the factors that made us seek the perfect partner.

So chill everyone. A lot of people throw away good partners with reasons like “he is too short’, ‘she is chubby now. After kids, she would blow up’ ‘He stays in a one bedroom apartment’, ‘she is not that pretty’, ‘he doesn’t have a car’, ‘she is not a virgin’…….. You shouldn’t really focus on these reasons unless they really really bother you and are not just a guise for expecting perfection. Assume you are in an island and your partner is the only other person (if you would rather drown out at sea or be eaten by island cannibals than be with the person, then definitely, RUN AWAY NOW)


Drop your comment please.

Have a tale to share. Email me at herapereira@yahoo.com or aishatupereira@gmail.com. I will always respond

The Hypocrisy of Bahrain Movie Stations

Having spent a year in Bahrain, I thought I had seen it all in terms of movie censorship. The foreign movies they show are so heavily censored, you wonder if they are worth watching.
Now, I have no qualms with their censoring hardcore inappropriate scenes. They have the right to. It is their country. However, I am stunned that they censor all kissing scenes even the most chaste ones. I remember when Lord of the Ring 3 aired. I was looking forward to my favourite part when Aragorn finally gets his lady at the end. And Bam! Censored at the juiciest part!!! It spoiled the movie experience for me, but I understood why………..sort of
aragorn and arwen

But the most shocking part was in the movie How to train your dragon. The end scene where Astrid kissed Hiccup was edited out. Come on!!!! It is a freaking cartoon. The kiss was less than 2 seconds and did I mention…..it is a freaking CARTOON!!!!

astrid and hiccup

Seriously, how on earth is this worth censoring?

Then last week, the movie 300 aired. Now this movie I don’t particularly like because of all the gore and blood but I wanted to hear the famous line. “THIS IS SPARTA!!!”, so I tuned in. I figured that the film would be severely edited anyways but Lo and behold, they aired every decapitation, every impalement, EVERYTHING!!!(the nude scenes were edited, of course) And I am sitting there thinking what the fudge? You censor cartoons kissing and allow men(very well-built men to the point of cartoonish) slaughter themselves in TV. That is just wrong jo.

What are you trying to teach the young ones watching?  That violence is permissible but fornication isn’t?  I also watched The patriot(the war scenes were shown completely and Hostel(just for 10 minutes, I cannot stand THIS movie, The first murder was also shown)

Now this isn’t limited to just kissing scenes in movies. I watched in amusement as the scene where the Arab prince was asked to pay 1 billion euros to save his family and the scene where the Arab ladies were seen boarding the Ark were edited out of the movie “2012”. I didn’t get the reason for that. I still don’t. Russians play the villainous roles in a lot of movies, I wonder if their TV stations edit all their parts out or they don’t bother to even air the movies.

russian bad guy
Most Famous Russian Bad guy

Now I cannot dictate to them what scenes they need to show. It is not my business how they run their stations, but if their reason behind hiding all the kissing scenes is to promote morality, then the moral compass here is very faulty. They seem to be placing violence on a lower scale than Sexual context which is just not right. If you are going to censor a movie, then censor it well or don’t censor at all.

So drop a line. What’s your view on this issue? How is the censorship in your country?

Random Thought- Do you have what it takes to survive a Zombie apocalypse.

I am fascinated and petrified by zombies. For me, there is nothing scarier, except maybe this guy……


The more I learn about myself, the more I realize I have absolutely zero chance of surviving a zombie apocalypse. I cannot run and I cannot shoot a gun. I am more likely to have a heart attack at the sight of them and hopefully die quickly or stab mysel…………jump off a tall building and hopefully die quickly. The important thing is that I die by my own hands……quickly.

So think about it? Do you have what it takes to survive a Zombie apocalypse.