Sarcastic one liners at its finest………..According to Me!

So I have been told that my updates are too long. I am sorry(…No, I am not). I can’t help it(….Yes I can). When I go to the bookstore to buy a novel, I go for the heaviest one because it would take a longer time to read. So I like things Long………….but I will “try” to keep this short.

So I have been watching a lot of Judge Judy of late. (I was a Judge Milian groupie because I thought Judge Judy was too mean), But she has won me over. I think both women are witty and sarcastic geniuses.

judge judyjudge milian

Now inspired by them and the queen of sarcasm Ardenrr, I put together a short list of one liners that I believe are some of the most subtle yet potent insults ever.

Unfortunately, I haven’t really gotten to use them for two reasons

1. I am a nice girl (…..cough) and I think the recipient may be offended (but I still find them hilarious)

2. Or even worse, the recipient may not get it and won’t be offended. There is nothing I hate more (as I had stated here) than when people don’t get sarcasm.

sarcasm smiley

So Here goes………….

I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.

Do you get laughed at a lot and never know why?

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

I like you. Everyone says I’ve got no taste, but I like you.

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad reality is that you wouldn’t understand me.

People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

I used to be pro-life until I met you.

you grow on people, but so does cancer.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice.

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Comment below and share your favourite one liner

15 Comments Add yours

  1. iomogekofo says:

    I like you. Everyone says I’ve got no taste, but I like you.


  2. Hahaha, Not bad at all.

    Stumbled on this blog; may hang around… but then I have a way of making bad choices.

    1. herapereira says:

      LOL. That’s genius. Good one!

  3. That was an attempt at sarcasm 🙂

    1. herapereira says:

      You don’t announce that you were being sarcastic. It ruins it. lol

      1. True that; but who would want to offend the Moderator of a Blog, a beautiful one too?

      2. herapereira says:

        awwh…. shucks!! I am un-offendable…………..ok thats a lie, But I have a pretty thick skin….literally

  4. Now I can relate with that @I have a pretty thick skin… but people are usually pro life until they meet me

    1. herapereira says:

      Lol. Keep ’em coming. Not bad at all

      1. Lol. Enough for the moment, this is. Good Blog you have here.
        I will stumble in again sometime. cheers.

      2. herapereira says:

        please keep stumbling and invite your friends, neighbours, pastor, the wierd man down your street…… to stumble across as well

  5. Yeah will do friends and neighbours. My Pastor is actually the weird nab down my street. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s