Hello everyone. So the Daily post daily prompt of the day is to turn to your co-workers, kids, Facebook friends, family — whoever — and ask them to suggest an article, an adjective, and a verb. And write on it. Well a facebook friend named Morticia suggested that I write about her mother in law issues. Morticia’s son is going to be two years old in 3 weeks and her husband’s mother has never met him. This is her story.
“Kole and I met during the National Youth Service. It was love at first sight…for me at least. After two years of dating, he took me home to his mother. I was nervous as expected but I never envisioned that the day would go so badly. She came to the door with a big smile on her face which faded very quickly as soon as she saw me. My heart skipped a beat and started to race. Does this woman know me from somewhere? Have I offended her unknowingly in the past? After we were seated, out of the blue, she asked me how old I was. I told her and she asked me to stop lying. Then all the red flags went up. The next hour, although awkward, went without incident. At one point, I was addressing Kole and inadvertently called him by my pet name for him ‘Koolio’. She flared up and yelled at me to address her son by his proper name. I was beyond stunned. Kole came to my defense and said I was his future wife and I can address him however I wanted. She looked at me with pure hatred and I said I was the reason why her only son was talking back to her. She went into the room and didn’t come out until we left
That was the beginning of the end. Despite numerous trips made by Kole, she just refused to accept me. The reason she gave people who asked, was that she had cooked food for me and I had looked at the food with disdain. For the life of me, I cannot remember that, but I called her immediately to apologise. I told her I was just a child. If I offended her, she should forgive me. She yelled and cursed and told me to get out of her son’s life. At the point, Kole asked me not to interact with her anymore. It made me sad that I was planning a wedding and my mother in law was doing her best to sabotage it by calling her relations and spreading malicious tales about me. Even her husband could not call her to order. One day, she called her son and told him that I would never be able to give birth to a child, that she had a dream that I was barren. My fiance and I decided then to try for a baby before the wedding. So on my wedding day, I was 4 months pregnant and my mother in law still didn’t come for the wedding. She is yet to see her only grandson. I have asked my husband severally to allow mediators made up of elder relations, to try to settle the matter, but my husband feels so betrayed that he has cut her off. I am so sad’
Morticia, Morticia, Morticia. I am not trying to trivialize your pain, but from a movie point of view, you are so freaking lucky. Now in foreign movies, the bad mother in law is typically one that uses funny wise cracks to taunt or insult her in-law. The typical mother in law portrayed in our movies is diabolical and super evil. She is not just going to insult you with words,No No No….. she is going to insult your entire family tree dating back to the Kunta Kinte days. She is going to pour water on you…hot..cold….stinky….she is not picky. She is going to bring in another wife for your son. She is going to order you out of your home. She is going to initiate a fight and turn around to make it seem like you started it so as to get your husband mad at you. She is going to visit native doctors to turn her son’s mind away from you. She is going to visit native doctors to try to kill you and your babies or she tries to do it herself because she is a witch. That is the typical movie mother in-law.
The No 1 diabolical mother in law in Nigerian movies.
Aside from movies, we hear stories of horrid mothers in-law which made us believe that the movies must be true. Now these movies and horror tales made a lot of Nigerian girls, myself included extremely wary of mothers in-law. Some girls do wish their mothers in-law dead before marriage. I find that extreme but I do understand their mindset. I, on the other hand, have an awesome mother in law(Only seen her once since I got married a year ago, making her even more awesome, but seriously she is so cool and laidback). I have friends who are closer to their mother in law than their own mother as well as friends who completely shun theirs. There is no saying what kind of woman would end up being your in law, but I do think that the diabolical mother inlaw stance is a tad bit exaggerated. It is stereotypical to assume that most mothers in law are diabolical. We girls are going to mothers in law eventually. That would mean that majority of us girls would be diabolical mothers in law one day, which is fallacious.
So Share your tale. Do you think most Nigerian mothers in law are diabolical or is it just a small percent made to seem larger due to the stereotyping?