Guys like shiny things too……

Dear Hera,
This is my story. Well…..Not exactly my story, but my sister’s. She spends too much on her boyfriend. Way too much. It’s not as if she is very rich(she is just ok) and our parents are just average. This is a guy that we are not sure will end up marrying her. I have asked her several times why she does that. She responded that he spends on her too. Now I know he spends on her but not to the extent that she does him. She spent close to 300 thousand naira on his birthday and he did not spend up to 100 thousand on her own birthday. I don’t think it is right. She is the girl. Before you know it now, he will dump her for someone else after all she has done. Please address the issue. Will direct her to your blog to read your response. Thanks


Dear Monica, I am sorry. I am about to disappoint you. You may not like it(scratch that, you won’t like it). I don’t want to (yeah I do), but I one hundred percent disagree with your stance. I will gladly tell you why in a bit.

Women have come a long way from the days when we were not allowed to vote. The fight for equality has given our generation more rights than ever(Though personally, I think fighting for equality is complete bollocks. Men are Men. Women are Women. They cannot be treated the same. If it were so, men would be allowed to have maternity or is it paternity leave and women in heavy lifting jobs would be required to lift the same weight as men. I think the term ‘equality’ should be replaced with ‘equity’, that is, fair treatment to both sexes taking into consideration their unique features. (you go fear lawyer)
The more I understand women, the more I realise that (I am not generalizing all women,so please don’t send me an email accusing me of women hating) we don’t really want equality or even equity. For example, We want to be allowed to work and earn a living just like our husbands, but we don’t really expect that we should have to contribute to the running of the household when he can afford it. Likewise girls in a relationship, they expect that their boyfriends should buy them the latest bags, shoes, watches , Iphone, Galaxy tab, and the likes, while they gift the boyfriend with boxers and singlets. Girls. GUYS LIKE SHINY THINGS TOOO!!!.


If they are going to spend hard-earned cash in getting you gifts, then it should not be a freaking problem getting them stuffs too. Monica, if the case was reversed and the guy was the one spending 300k on your sister, you won’t blink an eye. It is sad that some of us girls have been conditioned with the ‘take take take’ mentality. This scenario you painted is not a case of a guy being a leech or just taking advantage of your sister. This is probably a guy who doesn’t earn as much as your sister does. I may be wrong but the dude IS spending on her even though she is spending more. She is NOT complaining. And he doesn’t have to marry her because he spends on her. Likewise girls don’t have to marry a guy because he spends on them (I can see you girls breathing a sigh of relief……thank God, I don’t have to marry that fat Alhaji…..STOP TAKING. Awoof dey turn Belle.)

Sorry, Monica. I am sure this is not the response you were expecting. But I have to be honest. We cannot say we want equality or equity and still be expected to be taken care of. It does not work that way anymore. It just doesn’t. Any party, be it girl or guy who wants to spend on their significant other and is not being forced, cajoled or manipulated into doing so, should be allowed to. I hope you would still bring your sister to re……(dodges dagger)….never mind.

My two Kobo(Last time, I wrote my two cents, people kept asking me for their cut. Kobo is practically worthless. so HA!!)

Drop a line. Let us have your views.

15 Comments Add yours

  1. priscilla says:

    I beg to disagree thrs nothn wrng wiv a girl spendn on a man buh abeg les face it,u v to b smart d guy isn’t reciprocatn like wise abeg oOh na Bad investment b dt,evn my husbnd. Agrees wiv me,monica wo tll ur sis to wake up n smll d shit,u can spend on a man buh nt FOOLISHLY,

  2. semi says:

    Vewy practical!if d shoe was on d other foot…am sure der wud b no bangs abt it……buh she az 2 use sense oo

    1. herapereira says:

      I agree, but both parties have to use sense too…………

  3. zainab says:

    I think monica’s sister is sweet… U cannot keep buyin d guy boxers n singlets all time, common he cn get that himself. A girl cn spend 70k to get a weave but not 20k to get a nice watch for her ‘man’ but on her birthday she wants heaven n earth n then some…. Yea 300k may seem a lot but it rily isn’t bout the money or d marriage but bout d look you put on his face at that time. Surprise!! Joy!!! Sumthin that every1 (including guys) will want to have.

    1. herapereira says:

      Nice. Everyone deserves to feel special, not just girls

  4. If she wants to shower him with gifts, make the gifts something that they both can share. It is not good to spoil anyone, less the lose sight of the real important things in their mates!

    1. herapereira says:

      hmmmm………..I agree with u only to an extent. If my husband was to buy me a microwave as a gift because it is something we can both ‘share’…………..I would most likely plug him in instead.

      1. I meant like a cruise!

      2. herapereira says:

        ahaaaaa. but cruises are large ticket gifts………what about the little things?

      3. Not if you go on Carnival Out House Cruise Lines!

      4. herapereira says:

        I have no idea what that means.

      5. Carnival is the cruise line that stranded all those passengers in the ocean with no power and no bathrooms!

      6. herapereira says:

        Yea, i remember that Waiting for the movie.

  5. Dr Que says:

    I love this particular post, cos am glad some ladies are beginning to understand that there’s no such thing as “Gender-equality”, “equity” perhaps.
    However I believe if you wanna spend on a spouse it should be reciprocal esp in amount. 300k – 100k is too far apart even if this case was reversed

    1. herapereira says:

      ofcourse u would love it. hoi hoi. But you realise that people don’t earn equally.

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