Are people that are small of stature overly sensitive?

Hello, I am Back!!!! Who missed me? No….seriously….. who missed me?……..No one? really? Really??? Eh hen……..ok o
I am sorry, I have been AWOL for a while. My bad. 6 days without an update feels like forever. But hey! I am still here.The world has not been over run with Zombies yet, so for that reason, I must say things are splendid.
I apologize to all those who sent me mails that I am yet to respond to . E ma binu(don’t be angry). Will get on it. But seriously, is anyone going to send me a happy mail? A random mail filled with humour? A random mail dashing me 100 grand? Not those stupid spam that I get everyday about some money in some account that only I can get, but honest to God cash. But Seriously? Does anyone fall for those scams still? Seriously?

Now that I am done rambling, I am going to address an issue that has been on my mind for a while. Been chatting with a friend of mine who is really petite but happens to be one of the most aggressive people I have ever met. Her reason? People disrespect her because of her height, so she has to make up for what she lacks in height with aggression. Yeah she thinks being called short is wrong, so I won’t use the word short. (I think “fat” is incorrect so to each his own)

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60th Post Dedicated to My Baby Sister

Hitting the big 60. Or is it the big 50? Big 100? Doesn’t matter. Ends with a 0.

So today is my baby sister’s birthday. It is quite annoying. The other day, she was a little kid with the most annoying laugh. Next thing you know, she is in her first year in University/ College. I am outraged that she has grown up, but what to do? Cant keep her a kid forever. SO Happy Birthday my love. I spoilt you silly, didn’t I? I remember all those times I and my other sister thought up ways to sell you. The only thing that stopped us was the fact that you would be returned and we may have to return the money…….

Just Kidding…..sort of. You know we love ya!






My Almost Robbery Incidences….

Ok, this has officially been my worst month for blogging. I have been unbelievably lazy. (I am usually lazy, but this time ‘unbelievably’ so). Typing is my biggest chore. I know I should write shorter posts, but I am somehow incapable of writing short posts. I have an innate desire to ramble on and on, instead of dealing with the topic I intend to discuss…………kinda like I am doing right now.

SO, I have never considered myself a lucky person. In fact, I consider myself quite unlucky. I am that student who, on the day she misses school, something fun happens. I am that dieter, who starts on a regiment with a friend and that friend goes on to lose oodles of weight while I am left struggling with a few pounds. I am that daughter, who inherited all the worst features of my parents, from the annoying freckles under the eyes from my mother; the huge nose from my dad and my material grandmother’s arms.

I cannot make clothes, even though my mum is a guru. I cannot make beads, even though my sister could. I have no interest in business, even though the opportunity has presented itself lot of times. The only skills I can say I have are my ability to research, my mediocre writing skills and my unmarketable talent as a masseuse.

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I screwed up years ago, but Now I want my Redemption

Hello Hera

Saw in your ‘ABOUT’ that you were/are a lawyer. I am wondering if you could give me some advice. I know people are probably not going to be very sympathetic to my issue, but no one is perfect. So no one should judge me.

My story is similar to a Nigerian movie which I hate, but it happened. Back in the university in 1999, I met this girl. ‘Lolade’. She was eighteen at the time and a fresher. I was twenty-one and in 200 level. She came from an extremely sheltered background and knew next to nothing about men or relationship. We started dating. It was a good time for both of us. At a point, we started having sex. Now Lolade didn’t know anything about birth control, so I was in charge of making sure we were both safe. I know I slipped up a couple of times, but I believed I withdrew all the time.

A year and a half later, it was the summer holidays and I was at home. I don’t get to see her in the holidays because she lived quite far and that time, GSM were just taking off and I had not gotten a phone. One Sunday, She showed up at my house with her parents unannounced. My heart knew right away what she was here for. I knew that I was in serious trouble and my father was going to kill me. Like I feared, her dad told mine that their daughter was pregnant for me. I was called in and I did something I am still ashamed of today. I denied her . I threw a tantrum and made a scene basically calling her a liar and a whore. Lolade was silent and just kept looking at me. I avoided her gaze. Her parents were also silent. When I was done denying, her father simply said ‘Since your son said he is not responsible, we have nothing more to say.’ They left without another word. My parent drilled me that night trying to get me to confess. I kept lying and lying, that at one point, I began to believe it. I have no excuse for my actions. I was young. I was stupid. Lolade never came back to school. I assumed she aborted the baby. I never saw her again

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Confessions of an Orobo(Plus Size) Chick

I was sent this hilarious video by OmogeKofo. It was so funny that it inspired me to do this prayer.

Confessions of an Orobo(Plus Size) Chick

Forgive me Lord because I have sinned………..again
I Know by now you go don tire for my matter
But Lord, what can I do?
Temptations Temptations all around

Lord, you know that I tried
The Velvet Cake sat there in the fridge for HOURS
Lord, you know how much I resisted it
Going for Rabbit Food while Ignoring it
Ignoring the wonderful aroma
Lord, you know that I tried

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We need Marriage Counselors In Nigeria Please. No More P and E…………..

I am having one of those months. A lot of ideas but the inability to type it down. However for the past three days, I have been conversing with a reader who has been having some serious marital issues. Like I have told her and everyone, I am NOT qualified in the slightest to give professional advice on ANYTHING. (Newly Married myself and still trying to balance my innate feminist nature of “I will never be controlled’ to becoming a submissive African wife. It is a daily struggle). I guess my reader just wanted someone to talk to, that was a stranger.

This is one of the problems in Nigeria (amongst many). Couples don’t have anywhere to turn when they are facing crisis. True, some turn to their parents or siblings, but in more cases than not, it makes the situation worse. A Scenario- A man goes to complain to his mother about the character of his wife. Even if the mother is one of the sensible ones and does not take sides, there is always going to be that resentment from the wife’s end that so you went to report me to your mother and vice versa, so It is a No-Win situation. I believe that the saying “The wife is the one that makes or breaks a home” is a tremendous and unfair burden placed on married women. It irks me that a failure of a marriage is on the woman because they are magically expected to do whatever it takes to make a marriage work, even if it involves loosing herself in the process. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? What is the man’s role in making sure that a marriage does not fail? I remembered a married friend once said “A husband’s role is to provide. A wife’s role is everything else”.
what d fuckw
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My Brother is an Ungrateful A**. Is Thank You really a hard word?

Hello Hera,

Just a random story I wanted to share about my brother who is the most ungrateful a** I have ever met. Not looking for a solution because really I don’t think he is redeemable. I just want you to address it.
Since we were little, I have always disliked my brother’s attitude. I don’t know where he picked it from because my parents were decent people, though my mum doted on him too much. From when we were kids, he had this entitled attitude and found it hard to say thank you. I would buy a toy for my brother with my pocket-money and he would not let me touch it, yet he had no problem touching mine. Relatives would buy him things and when he is asked to say Thank you. He would sulk and run off to his room. His attitude grew nastier in school. Our parents will go out of their way to pay for some of his extracurricular activities (football and piano lessons) that they were not willing to pay for us non-tantrum throwing kids, and he would still mumble and grumble about the higher rates that some of his friends pay and how he wanted to pay that rate. My brother is not a bad person, but his ingratitude hides his good sides.

A cousin of ours who worked in Dubai came home for the holidays. He told my brother who was jobless at the time, to send his C.V to a company there, that they were looking for someone with his qualifications. He gave him an email of an old friend of his that worked there, for him to send it to. My brother did and got the job. He didn’t mention it to my cousin and left for Dubai a short while later. 6 months afterwards, our cousin who had since returned, called us and asked after my brother. We had thought that they would have been meeting on a regular basis and were shocked that he didn’t even know my brother was there. We had always assumed he told him. My cousin was bitterly disappointed. I called up my brother in anger. We have been communicating for months and anytime I asked after my cousin through him, he always responded that he(our cousin) was doing great. To find out that he was never even in touch, made me angry. What made me angrier was my brother’s response. He said he is not obligated to keep in touch with him. what should he? He got his job through his own merit and that our cousin were merely a vessel sent to help him then. He is a one man show and owes our cousin nothing. I was so disappointed. I could not believe this is my brother talking like this. I knew he had issues, but this was too much for me. I know one day he would do the same to me.

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From Middle East to Nigeria- Hajara’s Collections

Hello, everyone. Today is not a post per se, but a message from one of my sponsors. (Yeah, I got sponsors. Hurray me). Hajara’s collection is a new business set on bringing some of the most exotic and wonderful pieces (No, they don’t have only black Abayas here. Yeah I was surprised too) from Saudi Arabia and Bahrain to my home country Nigeria. with wonderful pieces and affordable prices, it is a bargain that you don’t want to miss.

These are some of the collections currently en route to Nigeria. Place your orders now and get them within a week.

IMG_20130604_00212417 H1

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All Fish/Fishes Go to Heaven- An Ode to Hassan and Hussein

Happy New Month People. Sorry, it has been a while since I posted. The hard life of sitting at home in front of a computer finally wore me down, but I am feeling relatively much better now.

Over the weekend, I grilled some whole fish…fishes for my husband and his drinking buddies, but they did not meet. So, with much ‘reluctance’, I decided to eat it.
Aisha o(boss lady_=)) Hera Pereiraعائشة

Yeah, when I took this picture, I noticed how angry the fish looked. Now, I am no vegetarian, so I felt no guilt eating fish, but it reminded me of my dark past. It reminded me of Hassan and Hussein.

Hassan and Hussein were the names I gave to my husband’s gold fish….fishes(Not sure which is correct. I think both are, but for fun, I am going to use both) When I first joined him in Bahrain, I was introduced to them. Now, I have never had a pet in my life, so this was new and exciting. Plus the fact that you didn’t have to clean after them excited me… I thought. We had a deal that he would keep their bowl clean. All I had to do is feed them everyday.

Trust Men. After I arrived, he never cleaned the bowl once. I was very amazed at how dirty fish were. Every week, I had to carry their ridiculously heavy fish bowl to the kitchen, transfer them to a small container and wash every single darn pepple. I hated that. My husband called it excellent training for future kids, which is ridiculous. At least, with kids, you get some affection back which makes the whole experience worth it. Even dogs and cats shows some affection. Fish just stares.

fish staring

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