My Brother is an Ungrateful A**. Is Thank You really a hard word?

Hello Hera,

Just a random story I wanted to share about my brother who is the most ungrateful a** I have ever met. Not looking for a solution because really I don’t think he is redeemable. I just want you to address it.
Since we were little, I have always disliked my brother’s attitude. I don’t know where he picked it from because my parents were decent people, though my mum doted on him too much. From when we were kids, he had this entitled attitude and found it hard to say thank you. I would buy a toy for my brother with my pocket-money and he would not let me touch it, yet he had no problem touching mine. Relatives would buy him things and when he is asked to say Thank you. He would sulk and run off to his room. His attitude grew nastier in school. Our parents will go out of their way to pay for some of his extracurricular activities (football and piano lessons) that they were not willing to pay for us non-tantrum throwing kids, and he would still mumble and grumble about the higher rates that some of his friends pay and how he wanted to pay that rate. My brother is not a bad person, but his ingratitude hides his good sides.

A cousin of ours who worked in Dubai came home for the holidays. He told my brother who was jobless at the time, to send his C.V to a company there, that they were looking for someone with his qualifications. He gave him an email of an old friend of his that worked there, for him to send it to. My brother did and got the job. He didn’t mention it to my cousin and left for Dubai a short while later. 6 months afterwards, our cousin who had since returned, called us and asked after my brother. We had thought that they would have been meeting on a regular basis and were shocked that he didn’t even know my brother was there. We had always assumed he told him. My cousin was bitterly disappointed. I called up my brother in anger. We have been communicating for months and anytime I asked after my cousin through him, he always responded that he(our cousin) was doing great. To find out that he was never even in touch, made me angry. What made me angrier was my brother’s response. He said he is not obligated to keep in touch with him. what should he? He got his job through his own merit and that our cousin were merely a vessel sent to help him then. He is a one man show and owes our cousin nothing. I was so disappointed. I could not believe this is my brother talking like this. I knew he had issues, but this was too much for me. I know one day he would do the same to me.

Two days ago, he called me to help him check out lands in Johannesburg for him. I don’t stay there. I cannot leave work tp travel there and even if I could, my wife is due any date now. Travelling there was the last thing I wanted to do. My brother got mad and went on a rant on how jealous and selfish I am. How I am always giving him attitude when he asks for help. This is a guy that I always do anything for. I had done things for him to the detriment of my family and the one time that I was unable to, he gets mad. Imagine my kid brother telling me I am giving him attitude.

I am not trying to change my brother. He is who he is and it is what it is. I just wanted to vent a bit. Thanks.

Frustrated Big Brother
Thank You for Venting with me. FBB. I totally get where you are coming from.

The other week, I was going through a friend’s status on BlackBerry and It read ‘Kenny hates Liars”. It got me thinking. Lying is not the worst thing in the world (I know some of you who know me would probably be thinking ‘Ofcourse she wouldn’t think so. she is a lawyer. it’s what they do. For those thinking that, stop thinking. It will give you brain damage.) On a serious note though, I don’t really see lying as such a ‘bad’ thing. Don’t get me wrong.It is a bad thing but certainly not the worst. We all lie. Whether it be a white lie like “Of course that meal was good’ or big lie like “Its your baby”. We all do it. Same with cheating. While I dislike people who cheat, I don’t take it so seriously. that’s just me. For me, The WORST, most UNREDEEMABLE vice in the world is


I think I can forgo almost any vice that anyone has. We are all human. We all sin. We are all bad sometimes, but there is something about ungrateful people that makes my blood boil. I have heard a lot of stories, but I have not had many encounters in my lifetime.There is only one that comes to mind.

A while back, we had a family friend staying with us for the holidays. One Saturday, I went shopping. I bought a couple of things for myself and decided to get something for my sisters and her. Now we were not close at all, but I felt it would be rude if I were to buy something for my sisters and nothing for her. So I made sure I got them exactly the same thing. When I got home, I gave everyone their gifts. Next thing, I heard the family friend say “Is that it?”. I was like “Excuse Me?”. She repeated “is that all you bought for me?”. At this point, I think my expression was like this

ungrateful present

Already miffed, I said “Yes”. She then said ‘hmm. Na wa o! see what you bought for yourself and see what you bought for me.’ It took the grace of heavens, my sister’s glances and tiredness from shopping not to go off on her. I was beyond shocked that you would get someone a gift and that would be their response. Maybe I should have told her how it made me feel, but I never did. I barely talk to her today.

There is a saying by William John Bennett that Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that thankfulness is indeed a virtue. Thank you is something I have always taken for granted. It’s not like ‘sorry’ that some people may find hard to say, due to pride and all. Thank you is just ….. thank you. It seems like basic common sense that if someone does something nice for you, you don’t have to like it. You just say thank you. In your private time, you can grumble all you want, but show some darn gratitude.

ungrateful friend

Share your tales about people in your life that have shown ingratitude that you cannot forget.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Hades says:

    that brother of his should be stretched out on a table somewhere & flogged to within an inch of his life…ungrateful twat

    1. herapereira says:

      hahaha. You harsh o!

  2. Ahmad O. Tairu says:

    Ungrateful people are created to remind us how God feels when we refused to appreciate everyday, the gift of life……..

    My verdict: treat them as a reminder, they can’t do without you but you can do without their “thank you”

  3. nnenna says:

    I blame your Parents, this character of his should have been checked when he was a kid. Next time, vent to his hearing, let him know in clear terms that his ungrateful attitude is unacceptable.

  4. small Lara says:

    the annoying part of it all when Parents indulge such kids and keep advicing the older ones to keep being nice to the ungrateful kid and “just do it for God”. that where the problem starts from. the Parents keep waving it aside and thinking”Oh! he’s a small boy, he would change” instead of dealing with it immediately.

    1. herapereira says:

      Exactly. Most poor behaviors of children is due to their parent’s influences, though there are many kids that no matter how well the parents train them, they would go wayward. I agree once you notice something negative, deal with it immediately. No details.

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