The Trials of Fatimah- the struggles of an orobo Part 5

Excerpts from Part 3
She is not that fat (thank you boy). Besides, fat people like her always get married (go and die boy)

So began a long conversation about fat people and marriage. I sat there listening to it thinking to myself ‘Chei See my life. Is it a crime to be big? From then on, I was determined to do something. I was determined to turn my life around. I was determined to make a difference. As long as I didn’t have to give up food……………So I did the next best thing

December 2005
I have a boyfriend. Hurray……………This is how we met……………

So I am on a hunt for a boyfriend. I have never had one which I found absolutely outrageous and offensive as there were uglier and fatter girls out there than me and they had boyfriends. Granted, I was extremely picky (the real word is vain as I wanted a David Beckham kind of guy, but I will never call myself vain. Only thin girls are vain….cough cough). Anyways, this time, I was not going to be picky anymore. I will date the first boy that toasts me as long as he is not fat or too short or too thin or wears glasses or has bad teeth or has a barrel for a belly or………….yeah…………

So how does one get a boyfriend in the university? Well, some freshers got toasted when they were up and about or at parties. I have been walking up and down since 1st year and no reasonable person has approached me (not counting all the agberos who see me passing and yell out ‘orobo’). Aside from Tade who led me on and broke my heart (yeah, I know technically my statement isn’t correct, but who cares about technicality. Our matter isn’t done though), no other guy has expressed a beyond friendship interest in me yet. No one invites me for parties. Continue reading

The Trials of Fatimah- the struggles of an orobo Part 4

Excerpt from Part 3
Eventually he returned with our meal. I was not too devastated to eat though. Food has always been my biggest comforter. At a point, Foluke excused herself to get more. As soon as she was out of sight, Tade leaned in and whispered

“My sister has been having a hard time. Her roommates are absolute monsters to her. She has no friends. I am hoping you can do me a favor and take her under your wings. You have this confidence that she doesn’t . When I saw you yesterday, I knew you would be a perfect friend for her, considering you are as chubby as she was. (Gunshot to my Brain).I would really appreciate it.
This was the worst day of my life. How will I face my roommates now? How will I face Ngozi?


And Now Part 4

So how did the date go? Stella asked when I returned
Fantastic? (I was going to take the true story to my grave!!!!)
Really?
Yeah, ‘I said, hoping she would drop it already, but I knew I will not get off that easily
So if he asks you out, will you gree?
Nah, he is not really my type
Hahaha ‘laughed my evil Ngozi, “you get type?’My dear, don’t be picky o”

Have I ever mentioned how much I hated Ngozi? I haven’t? I really hate Ngozi. She reminds me of all those really mean girls back in the secondary school and she was not even pretty enough to qualify as a mean girl. she was just average in looks. Stella whom I love is way prettier. Bola, who doesn’t really send anyone, is stunning (though I like to think she is plain because she is indifferent to me but at least she doesn’t pick on me). Ngozi seem to take pleasure in bringing me down. May she get obese after her first child. Amen. If I was not that big, I am pretty sure I would be termed prettier than her (At least so I was told). Just you wait until my next weight loss drug works. We will see who is prettier. (I was really delusional)

September 26 2005

A new semester. No longer a jamb bite. 200 level woo hoo. Unfortunately, my holiday was an absolute disaster as for the first time in my life, I had entered the triple digits. (No thanks to my mamma for always cooking carbs. No. I refuse to take personal responsibility. I would rather blame my folks). I cried for hours when I saw the scales hit 102kg. Then I determined it must be faulty and gave it away. Ate salads all day that day with only 2 bowls of ice cream at night (In Retrospect, Really Fatima? Really?)

November 4th 2005
One of the most humiliating days of my life ( sometimes I wonder if I am too sensitive because every incidence always ranks as one of the most humiliating days, but this was pretty bad). It was a weekend and there were a bunch of people in the room, guys and girls. They were all sitting around Ngozi and Stella’s side of the room. Stella and Bose were absent. I sat at my end listening but not participating in the gist. They were watching the movie Shallow Hal ( the one where a vain shallow fat guy was hypnotized into seeing the inner beauty of women and ended up falling for a fat girl whose inner beauty was Gwyneth Patrow. Sha at the end of the day, he stayed with the fat girl. All real mushy stuff). At the end of the movie, evil Ngozi came to my bed and gave me a hug. Somehow I thought maybe the movie has casted out the devil in her and has made her see my inner beauty (me, I am yet to see any inner beauty, but if others are seeing it, that’s fine by me), but her words woke me up quickly.

Oh Fatty
(I hate it when people call me that). See there is hope for you”

I wanted to die at that point as all the people in the room turned to look at me. I was so humiliated. I guess one of the boys noticed as he quickly came to my defense(or so I thought) and said

‘she is not that fat (thank you boy). Besides, fat people like her always get married (go and die boy)

So began a long conversation about fat people and marriage. I sat there listening to it thinking t myself ‘Chei See my life. Is it a crime to be big? From then on, I was determined to do something. I was determined to turn my life around. I was determined to make a difference. As long as I didn’t have to give up food……………So I did the next best thing

December 2005
I have a boyfriend. Hurray……………This is how we met……………

Tune in for Part 5 of Fatimah’s saga