I don’t do Community Guilt/ Living a Facade.

So by now everyone in Nigeria and their mother is aware of the ‘scandal’ one of our more established actresses decided to get embroiled in? No? Well, the dear lady for reasons best known to her decided it was a good idea to post a picture of her two new dogs on instagram.

 

oge-okoye

vllkyt56e4v982fnf-31d98a0eUT as it turns out, an American reality star (The real housewives of Atlanta) earlier posted the picture of the same dogs. oh No!!! Apparently, dear Oge tried to pass off the puppies as hers. Naughty Oge. Continue reading

Guys like shiny things too……

Dear Hera,
This is my story. Well…..Not exactly my story, but my sister’s. She spends too much on her boyfriend. Way too much. It’s not as if she is very rich(she is just ok) and our parents are just average. This is a guy that we are not sure will end up marrying her. I have asked her several times why she does that. She responded that he spends on her too. Now I know he spends on her but not to the extent that she does him. She spent close to 300 thousand naira on his birthday and he did not spend up to 100 thousand on her own birthday. I don’t think it is right. She is the girl. Before you know it now, he will dump her for someone else after all she has done. Please address the issue. Will direct her to your blog to read your response. Thanks

Monica

Dear Monica, I am sorry. I am about to disappoint you. You may not like it(scratch that, you won’t like it). I don’t want to (yeah I do), but I one hundred percent disagree with your stance. I will gladly tell you why in a bit.

Women have come a long way from the days when we were not allowed to vote. The fight for equality has given our generation more rights than ever(Though personally, I think fighting for equality is complete bollocks. Men are Men. Women are Women. They cannot be treated the same. If it were so, men would be allowed to have maternity or is it paternity leave and women in heavy lifting jobs would be required to lift the same weight as men. I think the term ‘equality’ should be replaced with ‘equity’, that is, fair treatment to both sexes taking into consideration their unique features. (you go fear lawyer)
gender-equality
The more I understand women, the more I realise that (I am not generalizing all women,so please don’t send me an email accusing me of women hating) we don’t really want equality or even equity. For example, We want to be allowed to work and earn a living just like our husbands, but we don’t really expect that we should have to contribute to the running of the household when he can afford it. Likewise girls in a relationship, they expect that their boyfriends should buy them the latest bags, shoes, watches , Iphone, Galaxy tab, and the likes, while they gift the boyfriend with boxers and singlets. Girls. GUYS LIKE SHINY THINGS TOOO!!!.

Exciting-Gift-Ideas-For-Guys-

If they are going to spend hard-earned cash in getting you gifts, then it should not be a freaking problem getting them stuffs too. Monica, if the case was reversed and the guy was the one spending 300k on your sister, you won’t blink an eye. It is sad that some of us girls have been conditioned with the ‘take take take’ mentality. This scenario you painted is not a case of a guy being a leech or just taking advantage of your sister. This is probably a guy who doesn’t earn as much as your sister does. I may be wrong but the dude IS spending on her even though she is spending more. She is NOT complaining. And he doesn’t have to marry her because he spends on her. Likewise girls don’t have to marry a guy because he spends on them (I can see you girls breathing a sigh of relief……thank God, I don’t have to marry that fat Alhaji…..STOP TAKING. Awoof dey turn Belle.)

Sorry, Monica. I am sure this is not the response you were expecting. But I have to be honest. We cannot say we want equality or equity and still be expected to be taken care of. It does not work that way anymore. It just doesn’t. Any party, be it girl or guy who wants to spend on their significant other and is not being forced, cajoled or manipulated into doing so, should be allowed to. I hope you would still bring your sister to re……(dodges dagger)….never mind.

My two Kobo(Last time, I wrote my two cents, people kept asking me for their cut. Kobo is practically worthless. so HA!!)

Drop a line. Let us have your views.

I ain’t your daddy (I resemble your papa?)

Hello Hera, Well done. Oya address this issue. Why are Nigerian girls so greedy eh? They expect a boyfriend to pay their school fees; their stupid brazilian hair, their fake nails, their clown makeup? Why? Girls that don’t know who Gucci is, expects a boy to get them Gucci bags. Wetin dey worry una? (LMAO). I invited a girl that I was asking out to see a movie with me at Ozone Cinema and she came with two of her friends. Then she asked me to pay for them and not to disgrace her. Like WTF?  I am not even your boyfriend yet, if I become one, it means I will be feeding your whole dorm na. The trend is really bad and I think it’s just Nigerian girls because I am presently in London and the girls here  are independent and take care of their own bills. Now I am not saying that a guy cannot provide for his girlfriend if he wishes to, but it’s not his job. Nigerian girls dey over do. LET THEM KNOW OOOO!!!!!

KELVIN

Yes Sir! Kelvin. E dey pain you abi? lol. I will let them know. We shall address the issue.

Now, as a girl, I agree that Nigerian girls have really begun to over do it. It seems like a boyfriend has to provide for his girl’s wants no matter how outrageous. I have never really understood the mindset of both parties but upon further survey and analysis, I have come to realize that both party blame the other for the trend. Below are 4 girls and 3 guys who gave me the viewpoints on the issue. (presentation is mine)

Girl one Stella – Philippians 1:6. He who starts a good work must finish it (at least this is how she quoted it). A guy approaches a girl with promises of heaven and earth when he is wooing her. He takes her out, spoils her with gifts and all. And now that he has gotten her, he wants to stop. Lie Lie!. He shall finish what he started. He will give her that heaven and earth. This is the impression he gave in the beginning. he cannot, after she has agreed to date him, rescind on the verbal agreement. He should park well.

Girl two- Carol- My friend’s boyfriend is taking care of all her needs (or so she says). Why do I have to be spending my own money taking care of myself when I have a boyfriend as well? Is he any different from the other guy? My friend is flaunting all the things her guy bought for her and see me here carrying last. Hell No! I should be able to talk my own too.

Girl three- Lara- Guys are just dogs. They are never faithful. You give them your heart, food and your body and they will still cheat on you with every passing girl. So at the end of the day when he leaves me for a newer model, what do I have to show for it? nothing. zilch. Na, while we are still together, he must provide for me. Abi isn’t it services I am providing.

Girl Four – Ngozi- Guys too dey complain. If a girl is self-sufficient, they will say this one won’t listen to them. Their ego kicks in and they dump the girl. If a girl is demanding from them, they complain that the girl wants to finish their cash. Bo. Their wahala is too much. They should make up their minds.

GUYS

Guy one- Afolabi- Nigerian girls are greedy and materialistic. End of story. All they see is how their friends who are probably runs girls(Nigerian slang for student call girls), are displaying designer wears and they want to feel among, and then they start harassing their boyfriends to dole out hard-earned cash on them. e easy. they should go and do what their friends are doing and leave guys and their money alone jo.

Guy two-Chucks- Girls seem to have forgotten what a boyfriend is. He is someone who you are attracted to and/or love. He is not your bank or your chauffeur. he is not the one to pay for your friends. Yeah, he can get you things but it’s not his job to do so.

Guy three- Joshua- Its the fault of all these stupid pot-bellied old men. They lure our girls with cash and then the girls are accustomed to the lifestyle and expect their boyfriends to foot the bill. Na wash?

Hmmmm……. so these are the opinions of some Nigerian girls and guys. Now everyone made some ‘good’ points. I am going to reserve my view on the issue and throw it out there to my readers. Let’s debate the issue.
If you are a Nigerian, what do you think is the genesis of this trend? Who is to blame.

If you are not Nigerian, Is there a similar trend in your country? Do you think it’s the guy’s duty to pay for his girl?
Drop a line , let’s hash this out.